A beautiful Pearl

A graduation celebration with a Pearl at the center.

It’s been a few months since my oldest daughter graduated from High School and spread her wings to take flight into the wide world of adulthood. I wonder if most parents feel the pressures along with the excitement of parenting the moment they know they will be expecting a little one, a new life. The heavy weight of responsibility and the worries and stresses, along with the voices in our minds that make us afraid that we might do it all wrong. There is a reality in the saying that parents learn how to raise kids alongside the kids who are raising parents. It’s truly the best thing we get to do with our lives in my view and while I recognize that the job is far from over, this year of “turning 18,” “graduation,” and “stepping into adulthood,” has been a meaningful time for us as proud parents to pause to enjoy the view of the beautiful person that we helped to create.

To celebrate Mckinley’s graduation, we planned a few things throughout her entire senior year. Small celebrations for her 18th birthday and fun events like Homecoming parties, tailgates, spring break fun and senior sluff day when the end of the year came. As parents we wanted to begin a tradition of something special that we could do with each of the kids to honor them and remind them of how special the experience of teaching them and learning from them has been, as well as to show them that we are looking forward with them to a bright and exciting future. With this in mind, we decided to have a “Pearl Ceremony” for Mckinley the night before her graduation. Our vision for this idea initially was a big event, where she could wear a beautiful pearl encrusted dress and there would be pearls and oysters everywhere as decorations with candles floating in a pool, etc. What we ended up with was a much more humble and intimate ceremony with just a few people. We read her a poem and shared some stories, we awarded her with her string of pearls, we served dessert and of course we cried. It was perfect.

When Dave and I first got married, like a lot of other young couples, we were poor with not much between us but love for each other. Two different Christmases, Dave gave me a string of pearls to wear. I wore them often and loved feeling their cool heaviness, seeing their serene, understated luster, thinking of their beautiful and mysterious beginnings and reminding myself that pearls are the only gemstones created inside of a living organism.

While trying to think of something special to give to Mckinley for graduation, my mind kept returning to the two graceful strings of pearls that have been so special to me. I still believe the saying, “Classy girls wear pearls,” and I love the elegance and timelessness I feel as I wear them. As pretty as each pearl is, I wanted to take advantage of the beautiful lesson of the Pearl, and what it hides inside. I think it’s a poetic message about life, how we get through the difficult, as well as the easy times, how we are nurtured and protected in a loving home, how we work on ourselves privately, sometimes alone, to build who we are. How, at some point, it’s time to show the world our unique and special qualities, and how at the center of it all is a tiny piece of grit.

A Pearl in the Making

    In the depths of the Azure Sea, Where whispers dance with mystery.
A Humble grain of grit does lie, beneath the oysters gentle sigh. 
  In darkness deep, where shadows play, The oyster guards its world of gray. 
Yet nestled in that hidden night, a transformation takes to flight. 
 With patience pure, the oyster tends, to that which fate and chance commends.
With tender touch and quiet grace, it wraps the grit in soft embrace. 
 Through trials fierce and tempests wild, The oyster nurtures like a child. 
 With every passing ebb and flow, it shapes the grit with loves soft glow. 

 And in the silence of the deep, where secrets in the shadows sleep, 
A pearl begins its gentle bloom, a symbol of a hidden room. 
For just like pearls, we too transform, through trials faced and lessons learned. 
With every challenge we embrace, we find our beauty, depth, and grace. 

So let this pearl, this gem divine, remind us of the grand design. 
For in the heart of every trial, lies the seed of our greatest smile. 
As you embark on paths anew, remember dear, the grit in you. 
For in it's depths, the pearl does hide, a testament to strength inside. 

Speaking of grit, just when we thought we were in the clear with “all systems go,” and ready for graduation, Mckinley woke up at 2 am on the big day in extreme pain from a kidney stone. After a few hours in the ER and with no sleep, she started the celebrations a little differently than we had planned but she was so happy that she didn’t have to miss it. The joke we made about it was that she maybe had just a little too much grit, at least in her kidneys, that day.

I have seen Mckinley grow into such a strong and beautiful person inside and out with so many steps along the way where she has proven to herself, and the world, how much kindness matters and how to make life choices aligned with integrity. I love her so much and I’m so deeply proud of her. I can’t wait to see the ways she will continue to make our world better and I feel lucky to continue to be a part of it all.

So McKinley, If I forget to tell you later, I’ve had a a really good time being your Mom. Go get ‘em! I love you:)